James Cameron Meets St. Peter

Spirituality Column - #18 – March 13, 2007
Current! In Carmel newspaper

James Cameron Meets St. Peter: A Very Short Story
By Bob Walters

Headline of the future:
‘Titanic,’ ‘Terminator,’ ‘Lost Tomb of Jesus’ producer James Cameron dies
Setting: The Pearly Gates
Robed Saint: “Next!”
Disembodied Ghost of James Cameron: “Where am I?”
RS: “What is your name?”
James: “Uh, James; James Cameron.”
RS: “Sounds familiar. Were you a sailor?”
James: “No; never liked the water much, but I made a wildly successful movie about a great tragedy at sea, the sinking of the Titanic.”
RS: “Oh yes. Dreadful business. Hit that iceberg, bad steel on the hull, sank in the darkness, so many people died …
James: Oh it was a great movie! We took those facts, added a love story and sex … won Academy Awards; made a ton of money.
RS: Uh huh. Did you bring any with you?
James: Bring any what?
RS: Money.
James: I didn’t think I could bring it with me.
RS: So, you are somewhat familiar with how things work up here?
James: Sure, isn’t everybody?
RS: You might be surprised.
James: Hey, hold on. This is really heaven! Hot dog! I’m King of the World!
RS: You’re not in, yet.
James: But I’m so close! Whew! I was pretty sure I believed in all this, but, well, you know how Hollywood is. Lot of sin; lot of worldly desire. Our movies only talked about Jesus when it would make us money.
RS: We noticed that. God likes movies, though. He is so intrigued by what humans come up with. The Terminator is one of His favorites; (mimics Arnold) "I'll be back!" Great line!
James: So, what did God think of my documentary about finding the bones of Jesus?
RS: Do you want to meet Him?
James: Who? God?
RS: No, Jesus.
James: (Jaw drops) You mean He’s really here?
RS: Yep, bones and all. Next!
Since watching “The Lost Tomb of Jesus,” Carmel resident Walters (rlwcom@aol.com) wonders if the Titanic was a hoax, too.