The Lost Producers of Jesus' Bones

Spirituality Column - # 19 – March 20, 2007
Current! In Carmel newspaper

The Lost Producers of Jesus’ Bones
By Bob Walters

Even “C&E” Christians, those who attend church at only Christmas and Easter, know something the producers of “The Lost Tomb of Jesus” TV show don’t: Christ Jesus the Son of God came to earth as God in the flesh; was fully God and fully human, and doesn’t have his bones buried in a box anywhere.

C&E’ers, nominally pious as they may be, nonetheless get the importance of these two Christian holidays because they understand Christ wasn’t a gag or a gimmick. The incarnation of Christ was a big deal, and the dual God-Man nature of Jesus is what makes Christianity unique among all religions.

Scholars chuckled and Christians sniffed at the “dead Messiah” idiocy of this TV show’s premise: Jesus existed because we found his bones!

Please. The bones are historically bogus (second century at the earliest) and – Hey congratulations! – you’ve come up with the wrong answer to a dumb question.

Historical documents prove the existence of the man Jesus, while the Bible, Christian doctrine, and 2,000 years of both church tradition and theological scholarship all describe the divine God-Man Jesus, born of the Virgin Mary (Christmas), who was crucified and buried (Good Friday) and rose from the dead on the third day (Easter) assuring us eternal life.

That’s a very big deal. It’s what puts the E in C&E’er.

It isn’t enough that Jesus taught in shrewd, brilliant parables and instructed a unique doctrine of faith, hope and love. What’s critical is this: Christ’s arrival as God in the flesh (John 1:14) unites God and mankind; and Christ’s resurrection puts us, forgiven of our sins, with Our Father God in Heaven.

God is “Our Father” specifically and only because Jesus the Son of man is eternally Christ the Son of God.

God is a Father because He has a Son.

Even a C&E’er understands that.

Walters (rlwcom@aol.com), a Carmel resident, has two sons but figures his bones aren’t going anywhere.

James Cameron Meets St. Peter

Spirituality Column - #18 – March 13, 2007
Current! In Carmel newspaper

James Cameron Meets St. Peter: A Very Short Story
By Bob Walters

Headline of the future:
‘Titanic,’ ‘Terminator,’ ‘Lost Tomb of Jesus’ producer James Cameron dies
Setting: The Pearly Gates
Robed Saint: “Next!”
Disembodied Ghost of James Cameron: “Where am I?”
RS: “What is your name?”
James: “Uh, James; James Cameron.”
RS: “Sounds familiar. Were you a sailor?”
James: “No; never liked the water much, but I made a wildly successful movie about a great tragedy at sea, the sinking of the Titanic.”
RS: “Oh yes. Dreadful business. Hit that iceberg, bad steel on the hull, sank in the darkness, so many people died …
James: Oh it was a great movie! We took those facts, added a love story and sex … won Academy Awards; made a ton of money.
RS: Uh huh. Did you bring any with you?
James: Bring any what?
RS: Money.
James: I didn’t think I could bring it with me.
RS: So, you are somewhat familiar with how things work up here?
James: Sure, isn’t everybody?
RS: You might be surprised.
James: Hey, hold on. This is really heaven! Hot dog! I’m King of the World!
RS: You’re not in, yet.
James: But I’m so close! Whew! I was pretty sure I believed in all this, but, well, you know how Hollywood is. Lot of sin; lot of worldly desire. Our movies only talked about Jesus when it would make us money.
RS: We noticed that. God likes movies, though. He is so intrigued by what humans come up with. The Terminator is one of His favorites; (mimics Arnold) "I'll be back!" Great line!
James: So, what did God think of my documentary about finding the bones of Jesus?
RS: Do you want to meet Him?
James: Who? God?
RS: No, Jesus.
James: (Jaw drops) You mean He’s really here?
RS: Yep, bones and all. Next!
Since watching “The Lost Tomb of Jesus,” Carmel resident Walters (rlwcom@aol.com) wonders if the Titanic was a hoax, too.